Every year, an estimated 3,500 parents get divorced in the state of Iowa. It's normal to feel a number of emotions during a divorce, ranging from joy, to sadness, to anger. It's important, however, to always remember that the divorce between parents is never the child's fault. 

How to Help Kids Cope

  • Let them know it is not their fault

    • Many kids feel as though if they had been a 'better kid', done a better job in school, etc., that the divorce would not have happened. In reality, parents get divorced for a number of reasons and never because of the​ child. 

  • Let them know that they cannot fix the divorce

    • Forcing a marriage is never the way to go. Instead, have them discuss feelings with a trusted adult and seek help when needed. It's okay to feel the emotions you do, just make sure they have someone to trust to talk about it with.

  • Have them join a support group or organization

    • Divorce, unfortunately, is a very common thing to occur. Joining an organization they're interested in will allow them to meet individuals with a similar story to theirs.

    • Making new friends will give them the support needed as the divorce becomes finalized and emotions may be raw. 

  • Don't let them press for more details about the divorce

    • Sometimes there will be details kids are better ​off not-knowing. Your job as the parent is not to be a gossiper to your children or have them be your counselor. All they need to know is that they're loved.

  • Don't be afraid to tell them what you need

    • Whether this is a break, an open conversation, questions you don't want answered, or just reinforcement. Your children want the best for you, but need your help in order to know what that may be. ​

  • Don't forget to take care of yourself

    • It's important to recognize when self-care is needed. Whether that's an extra hour or two of sleep, a healthy meal, a day with friends, or some alone time.

    • Self-care is extremely important for your physical and emotional wellbeing. 

Additional Resources

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EMAIL: info@pleasepassthelove.org

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