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Please Pass the Love  ©2019

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Divorce

Every year, an estimated 3,500 parents get divorced in the state of Iowa. It's normal to feel a number of emotions during a divorce, ranging from joy, to sadness, to anger. It's important, however, to always remember that the divorce between parents is never the child's fault. 

How to Help Kids Cope

  • Know it is not your fault

    • Many kids feel as though if they had been a 'better kid', done a better job in school, etc., that the divorce would not have happened. In reality, parents get divorced for a number of reasons and never because of the​ child. 

  • Know that you cannot fix the divorce

    • Forcing a marriage is never the way to go. Instead, discuss feelings with a trusted adult and seek help when needed. It's okay to feel the emotions you do, just make sure you have someone to trust to talk about it with.

  • Join a support group or organization

    • Divorce, unfortunately, is a very common thing to occur. Joining an organization you're interested in will allow you to meet individuals with a similar story. 

    • Making new friends will give you the support needed as the divorce becomes finalized and emotions may be raw. 

  • Don't press for more details about the divorce

    • Sometimes there will be details kids are better ​off not-knowing. Your job as the child is not to be a counselor to your parent. All you need to know is that you are loved.

  • Don't be afraid to tell parents what you need

    • Whether this is a break, an open conversation, questions you don't want answered, or just reinforcement. Your parents want the best for you, but need your help in order to know what that may be. ​

  • Don't forget to take care of yourself

    • It's important to recognize when self-care is needed. Whether that's an extra hour or two of sleep, a healthy meal, a day with friends, or some alone time.

    • Self-care is extremely important for your physical and emotional wellbeing. 

Additional Resources